Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Girl and Her Dogs

While visiting my mom in Silver City, she captured these photos of me snuggling with Shelty and Max. This first one shows one of the best things ever. It's a Miwa sandwich with Shelty and Max for the bread. Snuggling like this with Shelty has always been one of my favorite things. While I was pregnant she slept with me and was my body pillow. During the winter she used to sleep with me under the covers. Truly delightful.

As many of you know, Shelty recently passed away. She had been sick since before Christmas. Struggling to breathe and fighting a ghost. The vet did lots of testing and it looked like everything was fine, but she still fought to breathe, lost her appetite, and couldn't get enough air to go on walks. At the time that these photos were taken, I knew her time was likely limited. I am so glad that my mom took the time to take these picture of us snuggling. Sadly, on February 15, I just couldn't let her suffer anymore. I realized that her quality of life was really gone and that it was only my attachment to having her around that was keeping her here. She felt she had to hold on for my sake--she has always been so tuned into me and my emotions. I was terrified she would suffocate while I was at work and that she would die alone. I knew I would have to face losing her someday and the least I could do was to stop her suffering. We had to put her down. It was so difficult to let her go, but seeing her finally able to lay her head down peacefully and relax was actually quite healing for me.
I have always said that Shelty is my angel girl, she always has been and always will be. I take comfort in knowing that the 11 years we had together were full of amazing memories which are mine to cherish forever. I am now taking time to try to build my relationship and closeness with Max. Hopefully, if he and I can build more closeness and trust, he can attain more "normalcy."


Heidi said...

Oh, I am so sad she is gone. I will miss her when I come home. :(

I'm glad you got some pics. I realized too late that I didn't do that.

Marlene said...

How wonderful to have those sweet pictures to hold close when you are really missing her.

Katie said...

I'm sorry Miwa. That is so hard. I'm glad your mom got the pictures too.